I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
how does that bad decision feel?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
