I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
