omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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