So drunk its hurt
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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