At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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