Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
