There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You're earring is so big in my mouth
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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