So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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