If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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