He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
