There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This baby is an asshole
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
