I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
