yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
