***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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