Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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