and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
