Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you never un-have a 4some
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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