I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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