Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
