weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
