Are we in a gay sports bar?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize