is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
