and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
