I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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