she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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