the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
