There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
