I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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