Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
