I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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