I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
sex in a hospital.. check
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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