Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
