Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
