What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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