so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
