he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
