Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
