So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
