I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
