so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
