Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
