I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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