You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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