I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize
