I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize