I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
