I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
