Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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