found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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