He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
