I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
